Overcoming Self-doubt With These 6 Life Enriching Ideas
After a transcontinental move back to the land of the free, I was astonished, to say the least. I had lived in Texas all my life, but a few years ago I moved to England with my mother and started making a life over the pond, one where I could just hangout with friends and be myself. Unfortunately, during the move, I became fragile.
I went to an all-girls school, which shouldn’t be for the weak hearted. Foolishly I overlooked the common stereotype: girls are catty. In my case this proved true, and for three years I let the people around me dictate my speech, self-expression, friendships and levels of emotion. It was never rare to find me crying in a math class, blaming my feelings on stress when truly I felt a sense of belonging elsewhere. I wanted nothing more than to disappear.
In the summer of 2016, I took the move back home with my mom to Austin, Texas, and ultimately started my journey of self-love. I went to a new school where I only knew one person, and I immediately fell in love with the feeling of belonging somewhere. I made many changes in my life that drastically tore away this negative view I had perceived about the world, and I built up my own positive outlooks.
Through my school, I became aware of an entrepreneurship program called Whatever It Takes (WIT). WIT believes that the younger generation is fully capable of starting businesses and changing the world. Sarah Hernholm, the founder of the organization, came in and spoke about leadership skills. I sat in the first row of seats, up close but not confident enough to participate in the conversation. However, I can wholeheartedly remember how the founder held a gaze with me and commanded words that I had never believed—“I believe in you. I believe that you have everything you need right now to do whatever you want to do with your life.”
For someone who had escaped a place where I had no future in sight and could never do what I wanted, I felt relief and reassurance flood through me. She said that “it doesn’t matter whether I believe in you or not, you have to believe in yourself.” That’s what astonished me. Every day I looked for something to believe in, someone to care for me and that all crashed when I accepted her words.
I had to believe in myself.
Through my experience and observation of other girls around me, I accumulated ways to help young women overcome this haze of self-doubt and hatred that develops after girls transition to women. I found these tips helped not only me but many of my friends. The biggest accomplishment was the positive change that I saw in my mother after I helped move our lives in a different direction. So here are some ways that will help you on a journey of self-love:
- Get yourself dressed and ready for the day
- Find the biggest mirror you own
- Strike a pose (optional but advised)
- Find AT LEAST one thing that you like or love about you
- When alone, refer to yourself in the third person and give yourself an uplifting comment
- Go out that day and be proud of your attributes, even showing off
After consistently hearing this, it becomes easier to accept and understand that when people compliment you, they mean it. Remember, take part in this routine daily for the best result.
Oh and don’t forget to reciprocate. Once you’re comfortable with self-compliments, dish some out for others each day. Spread how you’ve learned to love yourself by loving others.
Everyone, young women specifically, tend to forget that living isn’t about sacrificing yourself for others. Sacrificing oneself and being selfless are two separate concepts. So take the advice I’ve given and try it out. It’s all here for you. If you find that something isn’t working, adjust the steps to your personal need. Go out there and have fun, the show the world what it’s missing: you.
FROM THE EDITOR
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